“I had a wonderful time hanging out with you the other day. Such a good time, in fact, that I was wondering if you’d like to do dinner and a movie sometime.”
“Sometime” was actually the next day, September 4th. We ate lunch at TGIFriday’s and saw a matinee of “The Brothers Grimm”.
During that afternoon I learned about his fear of silence in conversation and he learned about my extreme love for the french fry. I noticed he wasn’t going to eat all of his at TGIF’s so I asked “Could I have those?”, but not really waiting for an answer, as I ate the remainder of his fries right off his plate. I am that classy.
We actually had a really good conversation throughout the meal. Something about that time together made me see him differently. I went into it thinking, he’s my friend, I’ll get a free meal, but I know this won’t go anywhere so I don’t want to lead him on if being more than friends is even on his mind…you know the kind of carried away thinking one tends to do. Analyze every word, the tone, the body language. It’s exhausting.
I came out of that “date” thinking maybe I could give this a chance, he’s really interesting and funny, he loves the Lord, plus he has a job and car…he was responsible and self-motivated. All things I needed to see in a potential husband someday, but if the man didn’t have those qualities as just a boyfriend, I was not going to magically change him.
He dropped me off at my dorm again and we said goodbye. We didn’t make plans to see each other again, but we didn’t have to. Communication started flowing more naturally, and he would call me or instant message me and awkward emails kind of fell to the wayside. Thank God.
I was still unsure about making more out of this than just going on casual dates. I was content at keeping it at that and nothing more. My roommates Cait and Carly teased me lovingly, but they also knew him as well or better than I did and said seriously, “You should really give him a chance, Ali!”
“But it’s Barney.” I would say. “I can’t be in a real relationship with Barney.”
Nothing against him, he just wasn’t the guy I saw myself with for the long haul. I had no desire to be a pastor’s wife. And I saw myself with a tall, dark type. Maybe with a Scottish accent. I didn’t want to waste his or my time when I knew it wouldn’t work. For all my naysaying, I kept hearing this cliche phrase “leap of faith” pop in my brain. What? Okay, so take a leap of faith, date him for a little while, realize I don’t like him more than just friends, and maybe he realizes I’m not right for him either and we come to a mutual understanding. Leap of faith, leap of faith. I needed to clear my head.
One night I was in a reminiscent kind of mood (surprising, I know) and was looking through high school and early college momentoes. I found handmade cards from campers when I counseled at Camp Bethany. There were also cards from each of my co-counselors the year we were on full time staff together. I started to read some of them.
Summer 2003: Me, Anne, and Jen frequented the coffee shop in the early 2000s. Grumpy’s, Cool Beans, Common Grounds, Vines, you may call it whatever era you remember.
One was from Jamie, one from Bryan, from Anne, Stef, Nick, Kenton, one from Barney… hmm what did he write me? A red half-sheet of construction paper folded in two with “Allison” scrawled (in all three syllables presumably) on the front. Inside he had written:
“Ali, Ruth was in a strange land with strange people. The Bible states she was a Moabitess woman. She was polytheistic! One God was a strange idea. God worked through her mother-in-law Naomi and Ruth started to follow Israel’s God. Ruth’s goodness shined through. In Ruth 1:16 she tells Naomi, ‘Don’t urge me to leave you or turn my back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God will be my God.’ Ruth, out of goodness, took a leap of faith! You do the same thing and I love serving with you! Your step into camp counseling was the will of God for you. It’s very evident. God bless you always! – Barney.”
Shit. Sorry, God. Sh- Shoot. Leap of faith??? How could I ignore this?
Watch for the fifth installment of “How We Met” coming soon.
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